Friday, January 14, 2005

Yet another stumbling block to getting married

Maureen Dowd in yesterday's New York Times writes:

A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan, using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors.

As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for reporters: 'Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women.' Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.

I guess if I ever get a real job instead of the pretend job I have now, that would condemn me to not getting married.


Charles said...

Read it, don't necessarily believe the study. It could be that highly accomplished women don't make time for relationships. So guys grade them as too high maintenance and too much trouble to get to know. It's also the fairly exclusive nature of the group they are looking at - most of their contacts are not single, eligible males. The highly accomplished woman circulates in the highly accomplished male zone, so the total pool is lower to select from. Wonder if it was real different for the males and they just exercised the option to go down an economic or social or accomplishment level or two, while the women didn't?

If you have a secretary and work hard/long hours at being successful, and the secretary is also highly dedicated, you actually spend more hours per week with that person than with your spouse. So yeah, it happens that feelings can develop and they act on those feelings. Nothing in the study talked about people taking their marriage vows and resisting temptation by some method.

All things considered, is this just another dowdy wail about how she can't find a man?

Christy said...

I think that it's not men desiring women "below" them over women "above" them as much as it is women seeking out men with higher income/social status than they have.

Maybe men simply get hit on or find their advances accepted more by women "below" them, increasing the chances they will date/marry these women. Since women in the highest income/social brackets don't have many men "above" them to hit on, or be hit on by this limits their chances of finding a mate.

Aaronlane said...

The accepted sociology behind it is as Christy said. Men tend to marry down while women tend to marry up in socioeconomic terms.

I think Christy's reasons are correct and valid. In addition, its possible that women are simply picker!

Personally I'm dating a very nice pre-school teacher who would be classified as 'below' (hate that term) my economic status, but I'm oaky with that. :)

Have a nice weekend.

Bowly said...

I'm with Charles. Dowd is just rationalizing her own problems.

wil said...

Man, I'm the exact opposite. I'd much rather marry a dame who's better off than me so I could quit my job and sit around watching Seinfeld reruns all day.

Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey said...

Well, then, you'd better hurry and marry your current boss before you get a real job. :)

David said...

Keep in mind that this is a survey of undergraduates. Many of the responders probably have never met a woman (or a man) in a high-level position, and have only a stereotypical notion of what such people are like. It might be totally different when they meet someone in real life.

University said...

Thank you for this post, we are a online dating website blog network, which college students read our blog, so thanks and well post this article on our blog. Jennifer @ University of Syracusewomen seeking men